i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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