it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
