please come you make the beer taste better
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
