false alarm. still invincible.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
