when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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