I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
