Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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