is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
