Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
