I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
