Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Will exercising make me less horny?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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