Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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