Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
