My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
