Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
