I heard we made out
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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