i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
