Pappa wants mamma naked
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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