just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
