my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
