11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize