If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
