i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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