I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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