Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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