We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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