I want to have your abortion
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
