and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
