my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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