What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
