How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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