I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My dick has a subreddit
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
