Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
