Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
