I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
