I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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