wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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