I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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