Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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