Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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