It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
