So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
