it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
