so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
