i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
