so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
can u get pink eye on your cock?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
