Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Pants are for mortals
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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