someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
