its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize