Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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