i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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