I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
