Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
