We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize