from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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