our cab driver is having phone sex.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
