i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
