i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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