Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Still dying that you shit outside
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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